tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12821258046907988152024-02-19T23:30:41.020-08:00The Civilized EngineerBringing Civility to Engineering and Engineering to Domesticity.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-58057796709693483862016-08-26T14:57:00.000-07:002016-08-26T14:57:33.570-07:00Another Year, Another Co-op Preschool!I didn't manage to keep up with posting about last years co-op, but we had a great year! If you are wondering what co-op preschool is, I wrote a bit about it <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2015/07/an-introduction-to-my-co-op-preschool.html">here</a>.<br />
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This year my oldest is in public preschool, so I focused my effort on coordinating at group for my youngest. Being pregnant and a bit more realistic about the time commitment I wanted to make, I didn't publicize the group as I have in years past. Lots of people have approached me with interest in participating, so I recruited some help with coordinating the group and we were quickly able to assemble a group of kids.<br />
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The newest Ladera Learners!<br />
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I hosted our first class.<br />
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We set up our schedule very similar to previous years: 1 class/week 1-1.5 hours long. Snacks, circle time, several activities, closing circle.<br />
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The kids did fantastic!<br />
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These little guys are only 1.75-2.25 years old and they did great! <br />
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Happy Face Snacks</div>
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An Engaged Circle time Group!</div>
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We reviewed our circle time board and read "Baby Be Kind"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076365647X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=076365647X&linkCode={{linkCode}}&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId={{link_id}}">Baby Be Kind</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=am2&o=1&a=076365647X" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> and "I Can Do It."<a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0694013013/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0694013013&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=8e68ae665328ed9d4916d46e07a0d2d3">From Head to Toe Board Book</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="//ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=am2&o=1&a=0694013013" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> Pretty amazing for our first circle time experience for most of these guys!<br />
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We colored placemats with our names on them and laminated them!<br />
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For our sensory/science activity, we played with warm and cold homemade playdough. I loved exploring the texture and temperatures with my little guy. We even mixed the "red" (okay okay, it's pink I was out of red dye) and blue together for color exploration!<br />
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Finally, we completed our first day interviews!<br />
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It was a really great class and I am so excited to watch these kids grow and change. With my oldest off at school, I have an even great appreciation for the opportunity I had to be so involved in his first formal learning environment. <br />
<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-4670883530066281512016-07-07T10:05:00.002-07:002016-07-07T10:05:48.830-07:00Four Worst Children's booksI posted about five of my favorite children's books. To maintain balance in the force I thought I should post about five of WORST children's books. Note: These are not truly the worst children's books. We've come across some real doozies, especially in the library sales (I totally see why you're selling this, Librarian. Good call.) I prefer to not mention the really awful ones! These are books that are spared the trash pile, but certainly get hidden behind the rest of the books that I like better.<br />
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These books are the books that makes me crazy for one reason or another:<br />
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1. A Fish Out of Water.<br />
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First, there are some very major plot holes in this book. It also contains a rather dubious message. If you don't follow instructions, some thing crazy will happen. But don't worry too much about it, since the guy from the pet store will come and magically make everything better. With my toddlers, I love books that are easy and fun to read aloud, even some of the Dr. Suess with annoying fake words to fit the rhyme of the story. This book has an awkward cadence. <br />
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2. Books with flaps<br />
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I should probably broaden this category to include all books that are also toys (books that sing, make animal noises, flush toilets, etc). These books make the list for two reasons: First I am tired of repairing them. I can only glue the door back on the bus so many times.... Secondly, my children always manage to sneak them upstairs and into their rooms and request them as night time books. Flap books make terrible night time books. Any book that makes it very easy for a child to postpone bad is a bad idea. Books with lots of features are now designated as 'toys' in our our house and live in the play room.<br />
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3. The Night Before Christmas<br />
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Before you get too mad at me, understand that I actually do like the Night Before Christmas. I like it enough not to complain when we read it all of December and most of November and January, however when it managed to slip out of the Christmas box and we are still reading it in July, my patience has run out. These goes for "Ten Little Ghosts" and "The Bernstein Bears Thanksgivings," too. <br />
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4. Construction books that call Excavators diggers.<br />
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I understand that there are regions that refer to this piece of equipment as a digger. In my house, we call it an excavator. And I'm not afraid to make corrections. <br />
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<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-64070887396242363272016-06-30T14:10:00.001-07:002016-06-30T14:10:16.811-07:00My Five Favorite Kids BookReading is my favorite hobby, and so far, my kids are really loving it, too. We read LOTS of kids books in this house (My guess would be a minimum of ten per day). We read most books over and over again. Some are certainly more preferable to me than others. I thought I'd write a post about my 5 favorite kids books in hopes of generating some new ideas for favorite books! I can't promise these are my absolute favorites, but they are up there for sure, so in no particular order:<br />
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1. Pout Pout Fish<br />
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I love Pout Pout Fish. There are several great books in the series, but the original is my favorite. It's a cute story about changing your attitude (which is a necessary daily conversation in a house full of toddlers!!) In fact, 'bluuub' has become a colloquial method of expressing feelings in our house!<br />
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2. Good Night, Good Night, Construction Site.<br />
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I work on a construction site, so I wasn't surprised when I received two very special versions of this book from friends! (The board book version with a stuffie from Jen and a SIGNED copy from Sara!!) But I haven't enjoyed all of the construction books we've read. This one has a beautiful and relaxing cadence, lovely artwork and adorable characters. It's a nightly favorite of Alex!<br />
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3. Little Blue Truck<br />
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A very cute reminder about friendship. It's filled with animals sounds so it's been a big hit for a while here. I love books with a message, and this one has several.<br />
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4. Snuggle Up Sleepy Ones<br />
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This was previously Colin's night time book, and we read it twice a day for several years. It's now a struggle to convince him to let me read it, but it remains a favorite! Cute pictures of animals settling in for the evening. (Although you do have to get past a page where Roar rhymes with paws)<br />
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5. I love you as Much<br />
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Alex's night time book! This is a cute night time story about all of the mommy animals saying I love you to the baby animals. "I love you as much as a mother can love."<br />
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<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-10761212936770450822016-06-13T15:36:00.002-07:002016-06-13T15:36:27.165-07:00Personal Capital, a useful overview of personal finance.I still use a very complicated personally developed excel sheet for my budget. I've cycled through Mint, YNAB (you need a budget), Quicken and a paper budget, but I always come back to my Excel Sheet. I think each of those programs has a lot of offer to a specific type of budget-er.<br />
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Personal Capital, on the other hand, I think has great value for almost anyone.<br />
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Unlike the other programs I mentioned, Personal Capital offers an overview of your accounts and balances, including investments, real estate holdings, and other assets. It's great use is providing a long term view of finances. <br />
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Despite keeping pretty close records of my spending and maintaining a household budget, I didn't have a great way to track our net-worth. I would add up the balances of all of our accounts every once and while, but it was cumbersome and not particularly accurate.<br />
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Personal Capital syncs all of my accounts so that if I want, I can see how my net worth is changing on a daily basis. (I strongly advise against this, however.) Still, it's useful to watch things changing and to use the information to make better financial decisions for my family and long term goals.<br />
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For example, one of our goals as a family it to pay off our mortgage as quickly as possible. However, it's a very long term goal. Watching the balance decrease graphically over time in personal capital has been a great encouragement, as well as watching our net worth increase.<br />
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If your primarily goal is paying off other debts, I think it would be even more useful to be able to see all balances, and progress in one place.<br />
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Eventually, when we don't have debt, we can work hard to save and have an easy way to track all of our accounts.<br />
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I'd encourage anyone looking to make a first step towards getting controller of their finances to create an account. Let it track your accounts for a while and then check in when you're ready.<br />
<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-16103073255016300772016-06-02T14:37:00.002-07:002016-06-02T14:37:39.135-07:00Fifty Books!<h3>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've reached one of my goals for the year!!</span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This year, one of my goals was to read 50 books. I just finished what I thought was my 50th book, although upon listing them, I realized it was actually 52. For the purposes of my goals, my year starts in October, and I'm excited to have accomplished it with so much time to spare.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can read my reviews of the books I read <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2016/01/what-ive-been-reading.html">here</a> and <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2016/02/what-ive-been-reading-goal-check-in.html">here</a> and I will post my final reviews soon, but first I wanted to take a minute to pat myself on the back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reading made it as a goal for me because it's something I enjoy doing and something I think is good for me and my mind. People frequently ask me how I have time to read. I am a fast reader, but I also love reading. I don't watch TV and infrequently watch movies, so almost all of my entertainment time is spent reading. Now that my kids are older, I can even sometimes read my books while they read theirs. (On a side note, if I included the books I read to my kids, this number would be significantly higher, as I probably read at least 7 kids books a day!) </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also enjoy audiobooks and I include audiobooks in my count. I considered documenting which I read and which I listened to, but it was too late in the year, so maybe next year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Good Reads generated this interesting graph for me. I can thank my Classic Literature Book Club for stretching out my 'year published' range!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">According to Goodreads (which did fail to have 2 of my books), I read 17,438 pages of stuff so far this year. </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My 50 books:</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">1.Yes, Please by Amy Poehler</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">2. Daemon by Daniel Suarez</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">3. Freedom by Daniel Suarez</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">4. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">5. In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">6. Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">7. Getting Things Done by David Allen</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">8. Opposite of Spoiled</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">9. Between the World and Me by Ta-nehisi Coates</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">10. Essentialism by Greg Mckeown</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">11. Art of Tidying by Maria Kondo</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">12. Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">13. Art before Breakfast by Danny</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">14: Finders Keepers by Stephen King</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">15. Dad is Fat by Gaffigan</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">16. Better than Before by Gretchen Ruben</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">17. Beautiful Struggle by Ta-Nahisi Coates</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">18. Silence by Nhat Nanh</span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">19. How to Talk so kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Faber</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">20. The 4 hour Body. by Tim Ferris</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">21. 10th of December by </span><span style="line-height: 18.48px;">Greg Saunders</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">22. Spark Joy by Maria Kondo</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">23. A Summer Affair by </span><span style="line-height: 18.48px;">Elin Hilderbrand</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">24. That Old Cape Magic by Richard Russo</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">25. Tale of a 4th grade Nothing by Judy blume</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">26. Super Sad True Love Story by </span><span style="line-height: 18.48px;">Gary Shteyngart</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">27. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">28. Ready Player One by </span><span style="line-height: 18.48px;">Ernest Cline</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">29, The Cartel by Don Winslow</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.48px;">30. The Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll</span></b><b>31. Painted Girls by Cathy Marie Buchanan</b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">32. For the Love by Hatfield</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">33. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">34. Elanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">35: 10% Happier by Dan Harris</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">36. How to Get Dressed by Alison Freer</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">37. The Red Tent by Anita Diamant</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">38. Walden & Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">39. Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">40. The Mathematics of Love by Hannah Fry</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">41. The Tale of Tallest Rabbit by Rodrigo D Lopez</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">42. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">43.You're never Weird on the Internet by Felicia Day</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">44. White Oleander by Janet Fitch</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">45. I am Malala by Malala Yousafzai</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">46.A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini</span></b></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">47. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">48. Living Well, Spending Less, 12 Secrets of the Good Life by Ruth Soukup</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">49. Divine Collision by Jim Gash</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">50. Living Forward by Michael Hyatt & Daniel Harkavy</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">51. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>52. Parenting without Power Struggles</b></span><br />
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I really enjoyed some of my books. <br />
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My favorite fiction for the year was probably "Super Sad True Love Story" although most people I've recommended it to didn't like it much.<br />
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The book that made the biggest impact on my life was almost certainly Maria Kondo's "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying up."<br />
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I didn't like all of the books I read, but probably the only book I regret reading is "Outlander". The problem is that I didn't enjoy reading the book, as it was a bit too 'romance' for me, but I was very curious about the 'rest' of the story. I didn't realize I was diving into a large romance ocean with that particular serious and now, unwilling to continue swimming, I'll never know who was staring up longing at the protagonist at the beginning of the book. (I have a good guess, but no idea how he got there...) <br />
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My reading list isn't much shorter than it was when I started, so I'm looking forward to more worlds, adventures, and life changing advice.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-29078159141164304412016-05-15T15:59:00.000-07:002016-05-15T15:59:24.536-07:00Across the County on Amtrak's Southwest ChiefThere are some exciting things happening in our family. As a consequence, we needed to get a little bit creative with our family vacation this year. <br />
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So we decided to take a train across the country!<br />
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Not long ago, we took a short ride up to Santa Barbara from Orange County and had a <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2015/11/an-incredible-getaway-part-1.html">fantastic time.</a> Our boys loved the train and compared to driving, it was a fun way to enjoy the trip with two entergetic toddlers. I had a slightly more difficult time convincing my husband that a two and a half day trip would be equally enjoyable...<br />
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I'll answer a few of the questions everyone asks first, and then go into more detail about our trip.<br />
<h3>
<br />Is it cost effective compared to flying?</h3>
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It depends on how you look at it. Our trip for a family of four, in a family room, from Fullerton, CA to Chicago, IL was $1600. Our flight from Chicago back to Orange County was $600. I didn't spend much effort finding the absolute lowest price on either, although I did shift our dates to midweek. So flying is cleary much cheaper per mile. However we spent 2 full nights and 6 meals on the train, all included in the fair. I think it's reasonable to assume about 200 dollars per night for a hotel and $20, $30, and $40 dollars respectively for three meals a day for 4 people. Even then, at 1180, the train is slightly more. Sure, I could include gas (2000 miles, 25 miles a gallon, maybe 250 dollars in gas?) and wear and tear and eventually make the argument that it is cheaper than driving, but it's still probably close. The bottom line is if cost is the deciding factor, the train isn't probably your best bet, unless you are willing to sit in coach. </div>
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<h3>
Are you crazy?</h3>
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Possibly. I love the idea of sharing fun adventures with my family. When our first was less than a year old, we moved into a dorm for a short amount of time so my husband could finish his degree. I like exploring different ways of living and traveling. I like exposing my kids to different people, places and experiences. For us, the cross country train fit perfeclty with those goals. That said, there were several times we looked at each other over heads or our rambunctious children and thought "What were we thinking?" but in fairness, we do that on a regular basis at home as well.</div>
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<h3>
Would you do it again?</h3>
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Absolutely, but not right now. 18 months to 2.5 is one of my favorite ages for many things, but not for travel. At this age, sitting still is not a skill he's mastered. I'm glad it didn't stop us from taking the trip,but I'll wait until they're older to do it again. </div>
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Our Trip</h3>
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<b>Departure</b></div>
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We decided to leave from Fullerton Station instead of LAX. The drive was easier, and the area familiar. We convinced a friend to drop us off. We arrived early in anticipation of traffic and because we didn't fully understand the check in/security process. When we arrived, we checked most of our bags. They let us keep our stroller and check it just before boarding. Since we had arrived early, we had plenty of time for a quick dinner at the Spaghetti Factory. </div>
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We were still at the station in plenty of time and watched some of the Metrolink trains arrive and depart. Train stations have some interesting people. While one of my goals was to get my family out of the familiarity of our South Orange County Bubble, there were a few uncomfortable exchanges while we waiting for our train.</div>
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Despite my anxiety, there was plenty of time to get on board when the train stopped. I was slightly concerned, as the Surfliner had stopped for less than 2 minutes when we took our trip to Santa Barbara, but we had plenty of time. In fact, we intially boarded the wrong car (there were two sleeper cars) and had to deboard and board again on the correct car. (It turns out your ticket says the car number, but it's not very obvious)</div>
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<b>Onboard</b></h4>
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On board, I was pleasantly surprised at the size of our room. I had read every reivew I could find of Amtrak sleeper cars and had read a wide array of comments. While certainly smaller than a hotel room, it was not cramped. There was a luggage rack outside and we left our larger bag there. It would have fit in the room fine, and a slighly smaller bag would have fit under the seat. </div>
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Our room consisted of a bench love seat and 2 single seats that faced each other. There were pillows everywhere when we boarded. Our steward came in and introduced herself and offered us dinner reservations (we boarded at 6:45). We didn't see much of her on the trip.</div>
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<h4>
Food on the Train</h4>
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With a sleeper accomodation, all food in the dining car is included. The food was not bad. It was certainly better than standard airline food and equivalant to some of the fancier dinners I've had on international buisiness flights. </div>
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The dining car was located adjacent to our car and featured 4 person tables. Because our family is four people, we didn't share, but if you have less (or more) you are assigned to share a table with other passangers. I'm glad, for their sake, that no one else needed to eat with our children.</div>
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The worst meal was the salisbury steak. I'm not entirly sure what possessed my husband to order it. Luckily for him, my steak was very good, but I wasn't in the mood for meat and he ate it. The children's menu is hot dogs or mac and cheese. My kids happily ate a lot of mac and cheese for almost every meal. There were also some good vegetarian options including bean enchiladas and veggie burgers. They also had several good dessert options. By the end of the trip, many menu items were not available. <br />
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In addition to the dining car, there is a snack bar under the observation portion of the next train car. Since we had 3 very large meals a day, we visited only once as something to do and bought the kids a treat. It was fairly expensive and stocked with chips, cookies, microwavable food, and drinks. </div>
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We packed WAY too many snacks. I wasn't sure about the food and nothing is worse than hungry kids when traveling, so I had an entire suitcase of unecessary juice boxes, chips, fruit, nuts, and everything else I thought could survvie the train trip. We did feed them a few snacks, but my snack bag was way overkill.</div>
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<h4>
Sleep.</h4>
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We chose a family room. Our room was the width of the train and designed for a family of four. The family of four it is designed for has children who are slighly older than ours and who don't fall off of things when sleeping, however. <br />
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Our attendent weirdly chose only to set up the beds on the left of the picture, but we were able to get the others set up on our own. It is remarkably difficult to get photos in such a small space!</div>
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The ladder to the top bunk was a HUGE hit and made me super uncomfortable. Still, we let them climb it (with help) several times.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP1JQ36OoI0UVGqX5dVtuRjdXcjRgVVAV2iPPquzqV2Lr48QIzZkpcAJMRuTfLUxudz3Z0h3Fzu70ooLgujP9ZN8N8pU1gbINQf5ymDH5cJseKqwpCXS-ZnPJEyeUL-NkFflTmIxuoris/s1600/IMG_20160427_203414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP1JQ36OoI0UVGqX5dVtuRjdXcjRgVVAV2iPPquzqV2Lr48QIzZkpcAJMRuTfLUxudz3Z0h3Fzu70ooLgujP9ZN8N8pU1gbINQf5ymDH5cJseKqwpCXS-ZnPJEyeUL-NkFflTmIxuoris/s320/IMG_20160427_203414.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yep mom, I could totally fall off of this in the middle of the night on a moving train!</td></tr>
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Night Sleep</div>
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Nap 'sleep'</div>
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In the end, we all slept on the bottom two bunks. My husband and I serving as bed rails for the toddlers. It was not nearly as uncomfortable as it sounds. The biggest problem is that the side beds, (shown in the bottom photo) are only about 4 feet long. As a result, we slept cuddled on both beds, but there was a 3.5 inch gap between the beds. Luckily I brought our own bedding (I was nervous...) so we had plenty of blankets and pillows to shove in the gap.</div>
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Sleeping with kids can be rough, but it wasn't worse than expected and the first night I actually slept pretty well once we got them to sleep. Putting the kids to bed and doing anything was out of the quesiton, but we've decided that generally it's not even worth it to try in most cases when on vacation and we just enjoy the extra hours of sleep instead. I did listen to an audiobook when I couldn't sleep. </div>
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They also have an uncharacteristically modern blue night light in the room. </div>
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<br />Entertainment</h4>
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Our biggest entertainment was probably eating. It felt like everytime we started getting bored, it was time to eat again... </div>
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Reading: Although I bet when you travel without kids you get to read A LOT more.</div>
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Tablets: (Make sure you preload media, not much internet along the train route<br />
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And snacking.<br />
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The diner card also had paper table cloths which we made use of at each meal.<br />
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And of course, gazing out the windows. There was a variety of interesting and different scenery along the route. It was a bit hard to follow the map, but when I had internet access, I used Google Maps to see where we were. </div>
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Overall, we had a fantastic adventure. A train trip isn't for everyone, but I'm glad we did it. And I would absolutely do it again, but we've had enough trains for at least a few years.</div>
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-63772473640001377402016-03-09T14:18:00.000-08:002016-03-09T14:18:21.693-08:00Essential PurposeLately I've been focusing on simpling things in my life and getting a better handle on my essential purpose. <br />
<br />
That sounds much loftier than it is. Mostly, I've been spending a lot of time removing the things that aren't important so I can better understand and pursue what is.<br />
<br />
My goal to read 50 books this year has already paid huge dividends in this area; my closet looks incredible (Thanks, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1607749726/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1607749726&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=3IM7Q25T6KOGU2V4">KonMari</a>); my clothes are fitting better (Hard to thank you <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=as_li_qf_sp_sr_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&index=aps&keywords=the%20four%20hour%20body&linkCode=ur2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=FWL5OCCAJJYFAOKZ">Ferris</a>, so... Fist bump?) and I've been making time for <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062224697/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0062224697&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=DI6L6C6PCS2HWZXY">silence</a> in my life.<br />
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Most recently, I've been reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0451532163/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0451532163&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=TY6WUWOJNFW3KFQT">Walden</a> by Henry David Thoreau. It randomly landed on my reading list as part of a classic book club that I'm in. I'm only through the introduction and already, I'm finding the book incredible.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKbwZWVErW_g6W5o_R1YbC1cSFtdso8ddDcZBBhuu4LDlvdJTWc9_1PpSYLi_LT7j6ERDI82gjfppdaWzVD5-Jy4i6zqLUvPyjhsjTmR9Sl9I7Xwfj3fXyqC3QjIhpigmdquyw-uz_KZo/s1600/Our+inventions+are+wont+to+be+pretty+toys%252C+which+distract+our+attention+from+serious+things..jpg" imageanchor="1"><img alt="Our Inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things." border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKbwZWVErW_g6W5o_R1YbC1cSFtdso8ddDcZBBhuu4LDlvdJTWc9_1PpSYLi_LT7j6ERDI82gjfppdaWzVD5-Jy4i6zqLUvPyjhsjTmR9Sl9I7Xwfj3fXyqC3QjIhpigmdquyw-uz_KZo/s320/Our+inventions+are+wont+to+be+pretty+toys%252C+which+distract+our+attention+from+serious+things..jpg" title="Hendry David Thoreau "Walden"" width="213" /></a></div>
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Within an hour of picking up the book, I'd already highlighted about 7 passages (which is rare, I would say I normally average 2-3 per book), but this one in particular stood out to me.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />"Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things." --Henry David Thoreau</blockquote>
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As I sat reading on my cell phone, I realized how true this is for me. I'm not here to berate the mom checking her phone at the playground (ahem, me, ahem) or vow to stop using my phone (or ipad, or xm radio, or...), but it did give me pause. If this was true in 1854 (the year Singer invented the sewing machine, for perspective) how much more true is it today? Or to put it another way, how many more toys are there available for distraction?<br />
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And just in case that didn't hit home enough for me, I also found this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisNTuw_RXouT5DILUiBCU9iIflAhYFZtndG7Hf291BHhHptGAMqb7mp2MbtZ5Upf13mZyI1mHq52zMfT9W4LJBqn7JYyvJOSy4jOufeL0dxHAVWb3E0zpl3ZpFHwiEdWlodDw6G7I1dfI/s1600/Some+things+are+really+necessaries+of+life+in+some+circles%252C+the+most+helpless+and+diseased%252C+which+in+others+are+luxuries+merely%252C+and+in+others+are+still+entirely+unknown..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Somet things are really necessaries of life in some circles....which in others are luxuries merely, and in others are entirely unknown." -- Hendry David Thoreau" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisNTuw_RXouT5DILUiBCU9iIflAhYFZtndG7Hf291BHhHptGAMqb7mp2MbtZ5Upf13mZyI1mHq52zMfT9W4LJBqn7JYyvJOSy4jOufeL0dxHAVWb3E0zpl3ZpFHwiEdWlodDw6G7I1dfI/s320/Some+things+are+really+necessaries+of+life+in+some+circles%252C+the+most+helpless+and+diseased%252C+which+in+others+are+luxuries+merely%252C+and+in+others+are+still+entirely+unknown..jpg" title="Somet things are really necessaries of life in some circles....which in others are luxuries merely, and in others are entirely unknown." -- Hendry David Thoreau" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />"Some things are really necessaries of life in some circles....which in others are luxuries merely, and in others are entirely unknown." -- Henry David Thoreau</blockquote>
I have had days when I was nearly unable to work because the wifi at my office was down. I can't possible claim WiFi is not necessary to my life, yet millions of people around the world live their daily lives with out it. While I won't go as far as to claim that everyone who uses wifi is 'the most helpless and diseased,' I have to face that my reliance does have a tendency to occasionally cripple me, and it may not be helping me in my purpose as much as I suppose...<br />
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-60389697616358462252016-02-29T21:13:00.000-08:002016-02-29T21:13:01.779-08:00Why my Routines Rule.I get a lot done in a day. I <i>like</i> getting a lot done in a day. Sometimes people ask me how I do so much.<br />
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The answer? I cheat.</div>
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Seriously, I do. My routines are how I cheat. I automate as much of the mundane activity in my life as I can and by doing so I free up a ton of mental and emotional energy. I automate things using my routines and my lists. </div>
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Think of every task you need to get done to get ready in the morning. </div>
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<ul>
<li>Open eyes</li>
<li>Turn off alarm clock</li>
<li>step out of bed.</li>
<li>Shower</li>
<li>brush teeth</li>
<li>comb hair</li>
<li>get dressed</li>
<li>etc etc etc</li>
</ul>
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If we had to think of every one of those tasks we would go absolutely crazy. But we don't have to. Our brain takes care of it for us. I realized I should do that with more stuff. (It wasn't just my idea, Gretchen Rubin, helped)</div>
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I don't want to rely on my subconscious to remember everything, so I make lists. For pretty much everything.</div>
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The most prominent, and the most life changing, has been my nighttime routine. I keep a list taped to the inside of my pantry that has all of the things I need to do each night for a successful day the next day. Things like making sure I have all of the ingredients for dinner, packing my lunch, feeding the pets, and cleaning the kitchen. I'm sure these tasks are going on in almost every one's house, the only difference is I don't have to think about it. And that's awesome. <br />
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Because despite what people occasionally suggest, my routines don't take away spontaneity, they provide space for it. With my mind free from remembering to switch the laundry, I can plan that awesome murder mystery dinner party I want to host instead. And instead of "getting ready for the next day" being a mystery phrase that my husband hears me utter, it's a quantifiable thing that he can see and even do for me on occasion! ;)<br />
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-4996767774362584542016-02-15T06:29:00.002-08:002016-02-15T06:29:53.683-08:00What I've been reading: Goal Check In!Check out my first Goal check in Book Review <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2016/01/what-ive-been-reading.html">here</a>.<br />
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I absolutely love having a goal to read books. I love reading and having it as a 'goal' makes it so easy for me to make a bit of time for reading (or a lot of time as my reading list probably shows...)<br />
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Since my last update, I've read the following:<br />
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<b>19. How to Talk so kids will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk</b><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1451663889/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1451663889&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=SPO6NUN7IUY6RB3G" rel="nofollow">How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk</a><br />
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I liked this book. I don't read a ton of parenting books, but this one was recommended to me and is consistent with most of our parenting philosophies.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1451663889" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> We were having some challenges with our 3 year old and the book offered some practicial methods for resolving them. Sometimes you just need a fresh perspective. I recommend this book to parents looking for some new tools.<br />
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<b>20. The 4 hour Body.</b><br />
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Tim Ferris is one of my least favorite people. After reading his first book, I would have bet a large sum I'd never read another one of his books, so I'm not even entirely sure how I ended up with this one. And to be fair, I didn't even <i>really</i> finish it. ( ended up skimming/skipping his chapters on intimacy and bulking up, no thank you TF). I still give myself credit for it though since we've decided to try it. It's working wonders for my husband I've seen absolutely zero numerical results (weight or inches). Still, I feel pretty good and I'm glad it's working for one of us. Plus, an eating program that allows diet coke and red wine can't be all bad... Still; boo Tim Ferris. Boo. I don't recommend this book.<br />
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<b>21. 10th of December</b><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812984250/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0812984250&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=I3VWHXMIVZKTLMQG" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0812984250&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0812984250" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I don't like short stories. This book pretty much perfectly illustrates the reason why. Somewhere in the murky and clouded distance between these stories, an incredibly novel is lurking. I would LOVE to read it. Still, there really are some great stories in here. I recommend this book to people who like thriller/fantasy books and who don't mind a short story. I was talking to someone the other day who LOVES short stories because she said they don't keep you up all night reading, which is a good point. So if you don't want to be kept up all night, but don't mind some super creepy weird dreams, read away.<br />
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<b>22. Spark Joy</b><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1607749726/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1607749726&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=3IM7Q25T6KOGU2V4" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1607749726&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1607749726" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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This is the very first time I've EVER preordered a book. (To be fair, there are some others I would preorder if I wasn't so happy waiting for them at the library). But I am mid 'Tidy" and figured I could use all of the KonMari I could get. I liked it, but it's not a necessary read. I recommend this book to people who loved her first book and are in the middle of clearing their homes.<br />
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<b>23. A Summer Affair</b><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316018619/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0316018619&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=BLJOMNB36ZVEQQ6Q" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0316018619&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0316018619" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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It's probably not a glowing review when I look at the title less than a month after finishing the book and can't remember a single thing about the book.... I would recommend this book to someone looking for a vacation read without much impact.<br />
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<b>24. That Old Cape Magic</b><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400030919/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1400030919&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=XFEA3OQZZ4RWOFZQ" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1400030919&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1400030919" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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<br />
I read this on the recommendation of a friend and I was surprised. It didn't seem like her type of book. After discussing it with her, I think I'll give the author another shot, but I wasn't a fan of this one. Maybe it's more endearing if you have personal history with any of the locations in the book (the Cape). I don't recommend this book.<br />
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<b>25. Tale of a 4th grade Nothing</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142408816/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0142408816&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=M4JBKO5Y65G6FEND" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0142408816&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0142408816" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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<br />
After reading her new novel "In the Unlikely Event," I'd almost forgotten how much I loved Judy Blume. This really was a fun read and I'm glad I revisited. How can you not relate to a kid who's baby brother ate his pet turtle??<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>26. Super Sad True Love Story</b><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812977866/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0812977866&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=MGNWOW643JH7MDVW" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0812977866&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0812977866" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
This book is in the running for best book of my chellenge. Set in a dystopia not so distant future where young people communicate almost exclusively via text, no one reads actual books, and your social status is broadcast publically for all to rank and judge (it IS the future... barely), it <i>is</i> a super sad love story. I'd recommend this book to anyone who didn't stop reading this review at the word dystopia.<br />
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<b>27. Heart of Darkness</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1503275922/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1503275922&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=WD3P7FXJ6KE7CXUT" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1503275922&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1503275922" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
<br />
I have to admit, I was pretty excited when our classic book club choose a short book. Little did I know. I listened to the entire book and was so lost I had to start over and read the book. It's a short book, but it's heavy. And full of 'stuff'. No wonder English teachers drool over this book. It was good to revisit such an iconic Honors English book as an adult. Besides Mr. Redmens English class at HHS, I'd recommend this book to people who like Classics with the warning that it's harder to get through then you would suppose.<br />
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<b>28. Ready Player One</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307887448/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0307887448&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=5KS7YKH4XQ3WZSMQ" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0307887448&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0307887448" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I read "Armada" and really liked it so I added this to my library hold list. It's a fun read, although I'm not quite nerdy enough to get all of the references. I do think that someone should tell Cline that no matter how many times he writes a book about it, spending all day watching 80's sitcoms and playing video games is never going to make him save the world and get the girl. <br />
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I recommend this book to nerds, especially those who spent some time growing up in the 80s. <br />
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<b>29, The Cartel</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1101874996/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1101874996&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=WD3TYXRXTSSPWBHS" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1101874996&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1101874996" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
I think this book popped up on my list this update because I decided to counter "Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing." It was long, heavy, and difficult to read. It's focused on the drug wars and the Mexican Drug Cartels. It's frighteningly realistic, although my little sister's current geographical proximity to the locations in the book prevented me from checking just how realistic. I'd recommend this book to people who like crime novels and aren't squimish.<br />
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<b> 30. The Luckiest Girl Alive</b><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1476789630/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1476789630&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=Q2QXAGZ6NQM4OO7L" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1476789630&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1476789630" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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This was a fun read despite, or maybe because of, some of the most incredible over writing I've seen lately. For example, this gem, "I <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13.92px; line-height: 18.096px;">pressed my face into the crook of his neck, hot and steamy as a New York City sidewalk helplessly exposed in the thick of summer." </span><br />
I'd recommend this book to people who liked "Gone Girl" or "The Girl on the Train" although I don't think it was quite as good. <br />
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At 30 books, I'm way ahead of my goal to read 50 books by October. If I counted the books I read at naptime and bedtime everyday, I think I might be able to reach 1000 this year! :) Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-69733113307285029002016-02-12T14:56:00.002-08:002016-02-12T14:56:39.817-08:00Planning is Everything<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm planning a presentation for my MOPS group about the value of a family meeting. While brainstorming my opening, I referenced a list of quotes I keep in my notebook and found this one.<br />
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To me this is such an apt quote for parenting. Sometimes I get frustrated. It is rare that my plans play out as expected, especially with my children. Whether its my meal plan, our vacation plans, or even just my plan for what I'm going to get done for the day, something will come up (or down) or from the side and knock me off my route.<br />
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So my plans are (often) useless. But I whole heartedly agree, <i>planning</i> is everything. Planning, the time spent getting organized, thinking about what needs to get done and setting up deadlines and goals, is critical. It allows me to make the best decisions for my family when the unexpected happens. It gives me the skills I need to balance opposing needs, reset priorities and make new plans.<br />
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Flexibility is so critical with little ones, but if anyone else is struggling to find purpose in preparing plans that never seem to execute as designed, I hope this quote brings you some peace, too.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-51238831309712683852016-02-02T13:55:00.000-08:002016-02-02T13:55:01.459-08:00What the heck is a zone anyway?Thank you for the positive feedback on my family meeting posts! I love hearing that people are considering implementing this habit and I'd love to hear how it works for you and your family!<br />
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The most frequent feedback I got on my worksheets was "What is a zone??"<br />
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Hmm, people aren't familiar with the weird jargon we use in our family meetings? Noted.<br />
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I have a very strong dislike for cleaning. I'm not that good at it, and it doesn't come naturally to me what needs done when. So, like the scheduling freak that I am, I made a type of schedule.<br />
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This list is very specific for our house. So unless you have the exact same house, pets, and concerns as me, it will need some modification, but maybe it could serve as a launch point. Personally, I think everything would be just a little bit better if we could somehow get it down to 5 zones. By the 6th week, it's usually extremely obvious what zone is next. One whiff of the dogs breathe and I'll know she's up next week.<br />
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That probably leads sane people to wonder why I need a list. If I can tell the dogs breathe is bad, why can't I just brush her teeth? I don't have an answer to that. All I know is that before I had this system, I lived in a constant state of feeling behind and stressed out. Everything seemed messy and out of control. Now, instead of worrying if everything is perfect, I can relax and know that everything has a time to be dealt with, eventually anyway. <br />
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Some tasks simply can't wait 6 weeks. That's what the purple box in the bottom right quadrant is for. Every Sunday there is a list of tasks that we've decided need done weekly. Toilets, laundry, etc. We've recently adjusted how we handle those tasks, actually, but for a long time this system worked very well for us. <br />
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So, that's what a zone is.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-83356419236918766192016-01-31T13:02:00.000-08:002016-02-12T14:11:30.520-08:00Family Meeting Hardware.There are a few core pieces of accessories that support my family meeting. I thought it'd be useful to detail what they are and how we use each.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">1. Notebook</span></h2>
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We've cycled through lots of different notebooks and tasks lists, the general idea is a place for each family member to keep their to do list for the week. Mine, unsurprisngly, is much more invovled and complicated. It also changes every few years. For a while, I kept my lists electronically. Currently I'm using an ARC notebook from staples. I love that I can rearrange the pages. Each week I start a fresh list. My hsuband prefers a simple spiral notebook. It doesn't matter what kind of system you use, but sticking with one will be incredibly helpful. For example, make either your electronic or paper list your 'master' list. In my experience trying to maintain both is a recipe for things getting left off or falling through the cracks. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">2. Clipboard</span></h2>
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Our clipboard serves as our 'family' lists for the week. For a while, we kept both of our tasks lists on it as well, but ultimately the personal notebook system worked better, not least of all because we found that each person making their own list, even if we agreed on what should be on it, made it much more likely things would be completed that week. Now, our clipboard maintains lists we all need access to for the week; for example a list of errands, shopping list, discussion lists for the next meeting, a list of current 'projects' and misc notes. As much as I love forms (I <i>really</i> love forms) creating a form for this sheet has always been unsuccessful. For us, this sheets needs to be incredibly flexible each week. Still, because I'm to embarrased to share our actual clipboard sheet, I made a quick sketch up of how we currently use it.</div>
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In case you are skim reading, <i>I don't actually use this sheet</i>. I use a blank piece of colored paper that approximates this. I switched to colored paper to make it easier to find the sheet if it happens to get shuffled into a pile of paper. I keep it on a clipboard to prevent it from getting lost and to make it easier to make notes on it. I've tried hanging in, but it was too hard to write.</div>
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I'll breifly cover the categoties:</div>
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1. Notes</h3>
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This is where we make random notes from phone calls or anything else. If it has no further action, we strike it out. I also tend to use the back of the sheet for this purpose.</div>
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2. Discuss List</h3>
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This is the area where we write things we need to discuss at the next meeting. It might be an argument we postponed, something from our to do list we need to verify, or a funny story we don't want to forget to share. If we have time to talk about it during the week, we strike it out, but if it's in this section, we can be confident we won't forget about it.</div>
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3. Projects</h3>
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We try to keep our number of 'active' family projects to 5 or less. This is where we list them so we know what we are working on as a family.</div>
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4. Zone (<a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2016/02/what-heck-is-zone-anyway.html">More details on Zones here</a>)</h3>
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This is where we write the house zone for the week. We have our house divided into 6 zones. We keep a separate list of the activities for each zone. Organizing our chores like this has made it much easier to get to annoying tasks like cleaning the inside of the dishwasher, scrubbing the trash cans or doing the shredding. </div>
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<br />5. Errands & 6. Shopping Lists</h3>
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These categories are pretty self explanatory. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">3. Family Binder</span></h2>
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My family binder houses everything we need for our meeting and other things we might need to reference. I'm a big fan of electronic files, but I still find it useful to keep these things accessible. I often think of how beautiful someone with more of a design vew could make their binder, but mine primarily reflects my preference for functionality. Although I do have photos on the front! See?</div>
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1. Calendars</h3>
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In this section I keep a sheet with every birthday, anniversary, and holiday that we celebrate in our family or for which we send cards and gifts. We also keep any hard copy calendars we have (dance studio, preschool, work holidays, etc). Even though I put all of that information in my google calendars, I still keep the hard copies here.</div>
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2. Goals</h3>
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Each year when we set our goals, we determine the frequency we will check in with them. I make a one page (front and back) sheet for each member of our family and we check off what we accomplished each week at the family meeting.</div>
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3. To Do lists/Projects</h3>
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This is where we keep a list of all of the projects we'd like to eventually complete as a family. This includes home improvement, future vacations and service projects. When we complete a project, we look here and decide what we want to tackle next. </div>
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4.Budget</h3>
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I maintain our budget electronically, but each year I put a hard copy of our budget and goals in this category for us to reference if necessary. It also has a list of major bills and due dates (particularly things like insurance, property tax, etc)</div>
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5.Wish Lists/shopping lists.</h3>
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Each member of our family has a wish list. We add things we want to purchase. We also keep a list of things we might want but we are still thinking about. This has helped us be much more intentional with our purchases. </div>
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6. Chores/Zone tasks</h3>
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In this section I keep a list of the responsibilities for each house 'zone'. I'll post more on this soon.</div>
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7. Contacts.</h3>
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I printed out a copy of our Christmas Card list and stuck it in. If I get a change of address during the year, I update the list and it's available for anyone to reference if they have something that needs mailed. </div>
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8. Miscellaneous </h3>
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This section has packing lists, babysitter emergency information and other hard to categorize information that we need frequently enough to justify it being in our binder.</div>
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I hope this information has been useful and I'd love your feedback or tips on how you keep your family running smoothly!</div>
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-29705788641251717772016-01-26T07:25:00.000-08:002016-02-12T14:10:36.538-08:00Family Meeting Agenda Details.I<a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2016/01/my-family-meeting.html"> posted recently about the how critical our family meeting</a> is to the smooth (er) operation of our family and home. Just in case I convinced anyone to start this powerful habit, I thought I'd share a little more of the nuts and bolts of how we run our family meetings. First, a simplified version of our weekly agenda:<br />
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For people less prone to using an agenda than me (possibly every one?), let me try to make an argument for it. The idea behind any list I make is to get the information out of my head and in to a safe and reliable place where I can access it later. An agenda ensures that every thing is addressed without needing to spend half of my mental energy trying to remember what comes next. But an agenda should be a tool, not a mandate. Our agenda almost always has things crossed out or added until the next time I revise and print it.<br />
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Discussion Topics</h2>
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For a long time, this was the last item on our agenda, but ultimately we decided that addressing any outstanding issues first made it much easier to focus on the other items. This is the time of the meeting when we talk about the things that came up during the week. Sometimes it's an argument that we agreed to table until the meeting, a hurtful comment one of us needed to share, an idea for a family project or vacation or anything else we didn't want to forget about but didn't have time to discuss throughout the week. </div>
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Goal Check in</h2>
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Every year we sit down as a family and set goals. This is when we sit down and check in on how they are going. For example this is when I update which books I finished that week or how many miles I ran. It provides weekly accountability. Sometimes it also means reevaluating those goals. If week after week we fail to make progress on our goals, we take that as a sign that we need to change something. Does that person need more resources or time? Has that interest changed? We also add relevant goal related tasks to our to do list. I love having this early in the meeting because those are the first things on my to do list each week.</div>
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Discuss Last week</h2>
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When we open our calendars, we usually take a minute to look over the last week just in case there was anything else we needed to discuss that didn't come up during our discussions.</div>
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Calendar & Schedule update</h2>
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This is the majority of our meeting. We compare work schedules, double check childcare arrangements, transportation, etc. To make sure we don't miss anything we have a sub list that we review every week.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "wingdings";">§<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "batang";">Work Schedule<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "batang";">In our family work schedules change from week to week, so this is when we talk about when we are working and make any necessary changes.</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings";">§<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "batang";">Activities </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";">This is when we discuss classes, appointments, parties, etc. It's also when we add any related items to our task lists.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "wingdings"; line-height: 90%; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "wingdings"; line-height: 90%; text-indent: -0.25in;">§<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "batang"; line-height: 90%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Athletic/Workouts</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang"; line-height: 90%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Because one of our family goals is to be more active, we started planning our runs, workouts, and family bike rides at the beginning of the week.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang"; line-height: 90%; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings";">§<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "batang";">Special Events<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";">Vacations, visitors or other things going on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings";">§<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "batang";">Chores/this week’s tasks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";">Any major cleaning or maintenance tasks that need to get done this week get added to the schedule</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings";">§<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "batang";">Group responsibilities<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";">We participate in a variety of community and hobby organizations. This is when we review each, from book club to church, to volunteering.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings";">§</span><span style="font-family: "batang";">Kids Activities<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";">I'm always amazed at how such small people have such busy schedules!</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 90%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level3 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "batang";"><br /></span></div>
<h2>
Menu Planning & Grocery List</h2>
<div>
When we had more time and less to discuss, we used to make our menu for the week as a family. Now we take turns, but we still take a minute to discuss it and make any last minute changes.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h2>
Chores</h2>
<div>
Each week we try to focus on getting one area of the house clean, this is when we assign chores for that area or anything else that needs done.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h2>
To Do lists</h2>
<div>
Unfortunately, we rarely fully complete our to do lists. In order to support each other, we share what we didn't get done and offer help when we can.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h2>
Budget</h2>
<div>
We do our budget yearly, so this is just a check in to make sure everything is going as expected. We also discuss any major bills or expenses coming up.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h2>
Projects</h2>
<div>
We have a list of projects, both personal, professional, and as a family. We keep a full list in our family binder, but the few active projects are discussed at the end of the meeting and we make sure we know the next steps for each. Examples of projects are "Remodeling Master Bedroom" "Prepare Taxes" "Find a Preschool" etc. </div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<h2>
<i>Treats</i></h2>
<div>
Especially if involving children, I think it's great to end with a treat. We used to have brownies, but since we made our recent dietary changes, Brownies are out! I'm still on the lookout for a a great end of meeting treat!<br />
<br />
For a look at the things we use in our family meeting, check out this post: <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2016/01/family-meeting-hardware.html">Family Meeting hardware</a></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-42273715567925595412016-01-24T21:44:00.001-08:002016-02-12T14:09:26.540-08:00My Family Meeting<h2>
Family Meeting.</h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know the phrase makes some people cringe, maybe it’d be
less dull sounding, although twice as cheesy, if we called it the team huddle, the
go party, or some other euphemism for ‘sitting down to get your rear in gear
and your life in order.’<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>I’ve decided that the family meeting has been my “Keystone
habit”; the single habit that has had an incredible ripple effect of positive changes
everywhere in my life. </i></b> Because of our family meeting, our days run smoother, we accomplish more of what we want to do and we move with intention and purpose towards our long term goals. Our family
meeting has become the single most important hour of our week and I can’t
imagine how we’d keep everything straight without it. But inevitably, when I mention our family
meeting, I’m met with a mixture of amazement or disbelief. I’ve been thinking a
lot about the purpose and power of this relatively simple habit, and I can’t
stress enough how important it has become to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our family meeting is a safe and special time and place to
come together as a family. We discuss grievances,
share ideas, support each other’s goals, and take care of the daily business of
running a household; things like work schedules, kids classes, and our budget.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The top three reasons people have given me for not having a
family meeting are detailed below:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">1. There is no way my spouse would participate.</span></h3>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
That’s okay!! We can’t
change anyone but ourselves and in my experience trying only causes
problems. I think it is wonderful for
families to come together and meet regularly, but even if that’s not possible,
a family meeting is still possible. In
fact, it’s probably even more important.
Bills still need paid, appointments confirmed, goals checked in
with. In other words,<i><b> the family meeting is steering the ship, and someone needsto be at the helm</b></i>! Long before my husband
participated, I had a ‘family meeting’ each week. My children are very young, so
they don’t currently participate, but I hope that as they get older, they
will. Not because they have to, but
because it provides a way to help steer the direction we are moving as a
family. Because ulitmately that's why I want my family meeting to do: provide direction and purpose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<h3>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">2. I’m too
busy!</span></h3>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I work almost full time, I have 2 toddlers, and I strive to
be a contributing member of my community, so I do know how it feels to be too busy to breathe.
Still, I truly believe that a family meeting is a worth the time investment. If you’ve never read Stephen Convey’s book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1451639619/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1451639619&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=THWTX27XMDGFE6NZ" rel="nofollow">The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1451639619" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
, I urge you to do so.
In it, he tells the story of a man who is laboring to cut down a
tree. Someone suggests to him that he
should stop and sharpen the saw. The man believes he is too busy to stop sawing
and sharpen the saw. Sharpening the saw
would take no time at all compared to the time saved by using a sharper saw, but the man is so busy cutting down the tree he hasn't taken the time to really think about what he needs to get the job done. Each swing would be that more effective and
the work would be reduced by simpling sharpening the saw.<span style="font-size: large;"> <i>A family meeting is sharpening the saw</i><b>.</b></span> It takes time, usually about an hour for us, but I can guarantee that I
save more time than that each week as a result.
Time spent frantically looking for a babysitter because my husband and I
didn’t realize we both had important commitments on the same night, time
running out to buy a last minute gift for a party I forgot about,
time on the phone with a utility company dealing with a bill that’s past
due. Not to mention the mental and
emotional energy of worrying tasks that slipped through the cracks, goals and dreams
that seem further from reality with passing years or relationship tears that
fester instead of being cleaned and allowed to heal. I’m not saying our family meeting eliminates
these things, but in our family, it dramatically reduces them. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of
cure. I am not arguing that time isn’t a valuable and scare resource, but I do
hope I have made the argument that the time invested in preparation and
planning will pay dividends.<o:p></o:p><br />
<h3>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">3. I have no
idea how to even start.</span></h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
If you have never had a family meeting, I imagine it can be
a little intimidating to start. The
most important step is the first one, right?
For most families, I would say a calendar is a great place to
start. Family calendars get crazy
fast. Most people I know have a calendar
of some sort, so <b><i>the first step is to simply sit down with your calendar and a notepad</i></b>. Make sure every time dependent task is on the
calendar. (Work, school, social commitments, classes, bill due dates, holidays,
service appointments, workouts, etc). In our
family, we look at the next two weeks in details. If you’ve never done this,
you will be surprised at how many things will come up. For example, the appointment for “Book Club”
on Tuesday might remind you that you need to finish your book and pick up the
wine you are bringing and the appointments for your son’s doctor’s appointment
might remind you to jot down your questions for the doctor and pull out the
immunization records. We often find more logical or efficient ways to get things done when looking at things together. By writing it in my notebook ahead of time, I have plenty of time to make sure I’m not rushed
or missing anything when each appointment arrives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m planning to share how we coordinate calendars and the
details of our meetings soon, but in the meantime, I hope I’ve made a
compelling argument for at least giving a family meeting a shot.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>One final piece of advice: serve
brownies. Everybody likes a meeting with
brownies!</b><o:p></o:p><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Did I convince you? If so, check out our family's agenda here: <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2016/01/family-meeting-agenda-details.html">Agenda!</a></b></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-88882813251831356522016-01-11T09:51:00.000-08:002016-01-11T09:51:34.581-08:00I manage what I measure.There seem to be several themes threading through different areas of my life, and this is certainly one of them. It's come up multiple times, most recently in Rueben's book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385348630/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0385348630&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=WQQDDRXI7EQ65IOG" rel="nofollow">Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0385348630" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />.<br />
<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
It's true. And I've decided to use it intentionally in a few areas of my life.<br />
<h2>
Goals</h2>
<div>
I don't have resolutions, they don't work for me. But I've written a lot lately about my goals. In order to achieve my goals I must be able to measure them. Not everything I want to do is easily measured, so I come up with proxy goals to support my values. My goals graph a bit like this:<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Value: Goal</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Be health -------------> Self propel 500 miles</div>
<div>
Engage my brain -------------> Read 50 books</div>
<div>
Have a strong marriage --------------> Plan at least one date night per month</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<i>I can manage what I can measure.</i> I can measure a 4 mile walk, a 2 mile run, a 10 mile hike, etc. There are obviously mulitple metrics for measuring health, but this year I chose to focus on physical activity. Same with engaging my brain, and my marriage. For me, taking the time to sit down and set goals make a tremendous difference in promoting my values in my life.<br />
<br />
<h2>
Money</h2>
Most people I've talked to with a succesful budget know you have to measure to make any changes in your budget. Aribrary setting a budget "We will spend no more than 60 dollars eating out" is way less sucessful than first <i>measuring how much you actually spend eating out</i>. I've been managing my budget this way for years. Our budget isn't a limit, but a guide and each year, we sit down and look at how much we budgeted compared to how much we spent and make applicaple adjustments. In looking at last years budget, we realized that the less we engaged with it, the less intentional we were with our money and decisions. So this year we came up with a new system to help us both better monitor our money. <br />
<br />
<h2>
Belonings</h2>
<div>
It seems like I can't write, say or think anything lately without it somehow coming back to the Marie Kondo's books. (I recently finished her second book, </div>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1607749726/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1607749726&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=BALJVJPQ7OLOHJZU" rel="nofollow">Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1607749726" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> days after it's release!) It mind sound crazy to measure your belonings, but I really believe that for me that is why Kondo's method was so effective. By collecing all of my clothes, books, tools, etc I had to measure how much I had. Did our family need 5 tape measures? 7 pitchers? a hundred pair of baby socks? For me, the answer was no. And I realized that by scattering my belongs, but NOT measuring them I had lost the ability to manage them. I chose to keep extra hair brushes around instead of managing where I put my hair brush and made a thousand other small decisions that made my life less managable. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-29206760231964239612016-01-02T23:12:00.000-08:002016-01-02T23:14:03.527-08:00What I've been reading.One of my favorite activities is reading and one of my goals this year is to read 50 books. I'm well on my way and thought it'd be worth while to share what I've been reading! Although I have to say, people rarely ask me what I've been reading. Perhaps I should be a little less long winded about it...<br />
<br />
1.Yes, Please<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006226835X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=006226835X&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=GEAN2KRPR36OUKZT" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=006226835X&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" height="320" width="212" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=006226835X" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
<br />
<br />
I really liked Tina Fey's book Bossypants and this was recommended by Kindle. It was quick, easy and fun to read. I recommend it to particularly to working moms looking to laugh.<br />
<br />
2. Daemon<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0451228731/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0451228731&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=TWVZQQQMIEK4JXRY" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0451228731&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0451228731" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I didn't choose this book. Gavin and I take turns choosing a book to read together. He chose this one. It was a fun read overall, but I was annoyed to discover it was part of a series (I tend to stay away from serials). I recommend this book to technology junkies who like crime novels.<br />
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3.Freedom<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0451231899/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0451231899&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=7H3V7MLPLNHQEAIC" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0451231899&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0451231899" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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As I mentioned, Daemon turned out to be a series. This is the rest of the book. <br />
<br />
4.Great Expectations<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0486415864/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0486415864&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=LRTNELHIIYESQJMQ" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0486415864&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0486415864" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I'm in a classic book club and this was our selection. Not my favorite, not to mention I spent the first half of the book thinking I was reading Les Miserables. I recommend this book to high schoolers who are unfortunate enough to find it on their mandatory reading list.<br />
<br />
5.In the Unlikely Event<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1101875046/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1101875046&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=7IYHAWVERH4SQR3V" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1101875046&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1101875046" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
<br />
I loved Judy Blume as a child so I had to read the book. It was okay. I recommend this book to people who love to read and can get it from the library.<br />
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6.Furiously Happy<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1250077001/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1250077001&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=H3F5UNZ4I5JL3QKS" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1250077001&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" height="320" width="212" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1250077001" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I enjoyed this book. It's a hysterical account of a woman's struggle with depression. I recommend it to anyone who has had or loved someone who has had any type of depression. <br />
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7. Getting Things Done<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0143126563/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0143126563&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=QEP3754KEXK4UUWS" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0143126563&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" height="320" width="212" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0143126563" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I've been hearing about this book for ages. This is a good system for people who feel like their lives are out of control and are looking for a system to gain some control and sense of direction. Many of my systems are similar and I got some great Ideas. I highly recommend the book, although it's certainly not for everyone.<br />
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8. Opposite of Spoiled<br />
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Sometimes when I look around at my house and my neighborhood I'm terrified about how my children will grow up. How can I give my kids everything and still expect them to be grateful and realistic and understand how lucky we are? So I read this book and I really liked it. It made compelling arguments for allowance (an issue I hadn't really considered, yet) and like most great parenting books I read was more about the adult then the child. I recommend it for anyone who is wondering how to teach their kids about money and find balance in parenting.<br />
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9. Between the World and Me<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812993543/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0812993543&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=MCT3SDXEWJBTAPGK" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0812993543&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" height="320" width="215" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0812993543" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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This book was incredible. I don't know exactly how it got on my reading list, but it came up so I read it. It's a book written by a father to his son about life as a black man in America. It provided me a perspective that I did not have before and was beautifully written. I would recommend it to anyone who is interested at all based on the description.<br />
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10. Essentialism<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0804137382/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0804137382&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=25ZB3POTVICN6QCI" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0804137382&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0804137382" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I loved this book. I love the idea of identifying what is truly important and pursing it totally. This book is about simplifying and that's been a primary purpose for me lately. I'd recommend it for anyone who wants to think about what's really important and find ways to make more time and energy for it.<br />
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11. Art of Tidying<br />
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I've <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2015/12/the-art-of-tidying-up-intro.html">written quite a bit about this book</a> already. If you have any interest in simplifying your possessions and your life, read this book. <br />
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12. Trigger Warning<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062330322/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0062330322&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=3KPU6AGMKKUWVDUP" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0062330322&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0062330322" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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Much like series, I stay away from short stories, although for the opposite reason. If the author can't be bothered to flesh out a story and really write it, why should I read it? I did not realize this was a collection of short stories when I got it. Still, I like Gaiman a lot so I decided to stick with it. It is enjoyable and his mind fascinates me. I would recommend it ot Gaiman fans or aspiring Sci Fi writers. <br />
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13. Art before Breakfast<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1452135479/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1452135479&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=TAX2LXQMGDKF4JP5" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1452135479&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1452135479" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I got this book thinking it was "The Artist's Way" (it is not). But I read it anyway. It's a book about drawing. I recommend it to any non-artistic person who wants to be inspired to draw and think creatively.<br />
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14: Finders Keepers<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1501100076/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1501100076&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=26VBKRL2WQHCUD6F" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1501100076&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1501100076" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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Lots of strikes against this book, although most of them are my fault. 1: It's a book in a series, and even worse it's not even the first book in the series. 2. It's not a "King" book (aka scary as hell and creepy) book. It's a crime novel. It's a good crime novel, but not what I was expecting, although it hinted at it almost enough for me to read book 3, but not quite. I don't really recommend this book, although if you're looking for a crime novel, it's a fun read. (Mr. King, if you happen to read this, please don't kill me in one of your books. They scare me enough already).<br />
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15. Dad is Fat<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385349076/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0385349076&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=KOCRIJ7VBBFUVPTQ" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0385349076&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0385349076" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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Gaffigan is funny. Parenting is funny. Him writing about parenting is very funny. Despite his firm entrenchment in the attachment parenting camp, I liked the book and laughed a lot. I'd recommend it to parents looking for a laugh, but far behind Yes, Please or Bossypants (sorry Jim).<br />
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16. Better than Before<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385348630/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0385348630&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=I6KJAEN42NG6QMGF" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0385348630&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" height="320" width="206" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0385348630" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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From the Author the "The Happiness Project" one of my favorite books from a few years ago. I can't decide if I'd love Gretchen or really dislike her, but I like her books. This book tackles Habits, how they are formed, how they are eliminated and how they can help our lives. Her voice is a bit strange in this book, though. It's written a bit like a memoir, but a bit like a self help book. It's lke she is unwilling to assume the role of guide, expert, teacher, etc. (Although her stories indicate that's not true in life). Which is weird because her friends and relatives didn't seek out her book to read... still, I really liked the book. I'd recommend it to anyone looking to make life a little easier and find out a little bit more about their own personality. <br />
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17. Beautiful Struggle<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385527462/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0385527462&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=6RF6M6HRROD5JP5T" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0385527462&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0385527462" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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The next Coates book I was able to get my hands on. I would recommend Between the World and Me first, but this memoir provides great context and background and is also beautifully written.<br />
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18. Silence<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062224697/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0062224697&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=DI6L6C6PCS2HWZXY" rel="nofollow"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=0062224697&Format=_SL110_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=theciviengi-20" height="400" width="261" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0062224697" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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A book written by a Buddist monk about the value of finding Silence, mostly internal, in a loud and chaotic world. Despite my goal of simplifying, it had not occurred to me how valuable silence could be towards that goal. My favorite quote from the book:<br />
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"The more space we make for stillness and silence, the more we have to give both to ourselves and to others." <br />
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I was inspired to work towards making mental space as I work on making physical space and to evaluate why it's so hard for me to do so without filling every second with some type of input. I would recommend this book to most people. In my experience we could all use a reminder to slow down every once and a while. <br />
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I have a few books lined up, but I'm always looking for suggestions!<br />
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<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-37915857381222099662016-01-02T00:22:00.000-08:002016-01-02T00:22:07.760-08:00KonMari: Hitting the wall, then climbing the wall, then...falling off the wall...<br />
<br />
If you are considering jumping into Kondo's book and method, there's a few things I think you should know.<br />
<h3>
1. It's going to get worse before it gets better.</h3>
<div>
Perhaps this is why she offers the advice that you should fully discard before you organize. And I tried, I really really did. But there's some obstacles! For example my garbage cans can only hold so much garbage (same holds for the trash cans at the pocket park, not that I would desperately take anything there ever...) Also, there were LOADS of things to be taken for donation. (Hmm, come to think of it, she may have told me to identify that ahead of time, too...) And there were things I was pretending to sell by posting witty captions on my moms sale group and people would fail to pick them up and my entry way filled up with weird things. The short version: It's going to get worse before it gets better.</div>
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<h3>
2. You're going to need a sanctuary, and possibly wine.</h3>
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For me, it was my closet. I followed her instructions and started with clothes and my closet was as close to a magazine spread as I care to get (no one is getting between me and my Princess Leia footy PJs,) Anyway, I am very lucky to have a large and now insanely clean and organized closet. Multiple times during the process I'd retreat from a lumbering pile of towels (every towel?? Are you SURE? Geeze that's a lot of towels.) with a cup of tea or glass of wine to remind myself this is why I'm doing this. Once I got started I desperately wanted (want) to finish. So things not only got messier, I got a bit frantic about it. Sanctuary was necessary. I am lucky I work so I had to leave the house and work, God help the Stay at Home parent who lives in their self imposed prison of purging 24 hours a day. </div>
<h3>
3. This might actually change your life</h3>
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I didn't really expect life changing to happen. I mean, every book I read changes my life in some way, but although I was excited to 'tidy' I didn't really anticipate magic. But there is some magic! For me, the magic was the insanely simple sounding idea that my belongs should be taken care of. This is literally so easy I try to teach it to my 3 year old every single day. Yet for some reason it was out of my reach. I actually laughed when I first read that "Every thing should have a home." But guess what? EVERYTHING SHOULD HAVE A HOME! Because then it can go there. And when you need it, it will be there. Everything. And since we've started working on this the amount of times my husband and I have asked "Hey, where is the___?" or "Do we have any ____?" has dropped dramatically. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm not done, but I can see the start of the light at the end of the tunnel. And as promised, the process gets easier and more automatic as I go along. I'm still dreading sentimental items, particularly photos, but I firmly believe in the principles and the process.</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-8725067547726032932016-01-01T13:57:00.002-08:002016-01-01T14:02:52.778-08:00Goals: New Years Edition.<a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2015/10/goal-setting.html">I posted in October about my goals for the year. </a> I know January is "Goal Month" for lots of people, so I thought I'd use this opportunity to revisit my goals and update my progress!<br />
<br />
One of the wonderful things about October start is I get a 'test run.' A few of my goals just didn't pan out, some of them, on the other hand, are going like gangbusters!!<br />
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First, I revised my Goal Image:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJBFDcajuXHsJOXa0Zq83x_1OvzPIkoxhsTrEFIFlUgxDzz7doVN1KGr5PzTqy5EVTCpsupY_Fu2bQmMqt2xjp1x-Fx6F5mYyChQtSgsI2qHLopY00wNdtE5iiYKA_-9nqpCv3O6YrHD4/s1600/FINAL+GOALS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJBFDcajuXHsJOXa0Zq83x_1OvzPIkoxhsTrEFIFlUgxDzz7doVN1KGr5PzTqy5EVTCpsupY_Fu2bQmMqt2xjp1x-Fx6F5mYyChQtSgsI2qHLopY00wNdtE5iiYKA_-9nqpCv3O6YrHD4/s320/FINAL+GOALS.jpg" width="245" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Intentionally</span></b> is my overriding theme for the year (actually it might be for my life in general, but we'll start with the year!) Inspired by some of the books I've read and ideas I've been exploring in my writing, I added it to the top of my list. I'll see it daily and hopefully live it daily as well.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">500 miles</span></b>: This goal has really been inspiring me lately. When I have a few minutes and I'm not sure what to do, I tend to consider a walk or a ride, which is awesome since the mission behind this goal is to be more active. As of today, I'm up to 124 miles. 24 miles ahead of my required pace to achieve 500 miles by October!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">50 Books</span></b>: I plan to post about my recent reads, but I'm already up to18 books!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Publish Weekly</span></b>: This goal has been a bit of a challenge, I've been writing frequently, but I sometimes find it difficult to share my voice and broadcast my ideas. I've opened up some new creative avenues that I've really been enjoying though, so I've made my goal consistently.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Create Daily</span></b>: I've been primarily writing, but I've also had opportunities to express creativity in other ways with craft nights and creating activities for the kids. I've also read several art books that have inspired me to try drawing!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Build Community</span></b>: I've decided that one of my core principles is community. I've also come to realize that I can build the community that I want for my family. It's something I've been working on consistently even without labeling it a goal, but it is a critical component of my life and worth adding to my sheet. I've also come up with a very specific goal in this area that I'll share more about soon!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Family Adventures</span></b>: I addition to my goals as a mother and a wife, adding adventure is a primary goal for the year. Train Rides, exploring new places, novel culinary experiences, are all aimed at adding more fun to our days.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Foster Friendship</span></b>: I want to build community and try new things. I want to be open to new people and experiences and be willing to push myself outside of my comfort zone. In order to be successful, I need to foster the friendships that inspire, motivate, and comfort me. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">2016 is going to be incredible, I can just tell.</span>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-54695375509235887242015-12-22T13:55:00.002-08:002015-12-22T14:00:21.550-08:00The Grinch at Toys are Us.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi75k8mJFBKWVMKhHjWHiMGRdHGyfsG5Nz5id_pzpVhjfEKZRQYXqJtBo4KekV_y4qnAqTx1JVixJkrHfrmdJsH8LjsI44NJZiKS8ENncHbNyBXtKOxPvMDLll09TA64OVqi37KH4GJF8E/s1600/Season%2527sGreetings%2521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="dones't come from a store, dr suess, grinch" border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi75k8mJFBKWVMKhHjWHiMGRdHGyfsG5Nz5id_pzpVhjfEKZRQYXqJtBo4KekV_y4qnAqTx1JVixJkrHfrmdJsH8LjsI44NJZiKS8ENncHbNyBXtKOxPvMDLll09TA64OVqi37KH4GJF8E/s320/Season%2527sGreetings%2521.jpg" title="Meaning of Christmas" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I met a real life Grinch. </i></span><br />
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The Grinch was obsessed with material things. The Grinch thought the number of packages and piles of presents was the most important thing about Christmas. The Grinch also thought that my idea to focus my energy this Christmas and reduce the amount of 'stuff' was stupid and awful and would ruin my kids' Christmas.<br />
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The Grinch showed me all of the toys in all of the aisles of Toys R Us and pointed to carts overflowing with shiny gadgets and gizmos. The Grinch reminded me that Alex loves trucks and there is an entire aisle of them! And if I'm going to get a train toy, shouldn't I get mega wooden set that looks so perfect on the box and will last for years? The Grinch looked at the two small boxes I had chosen and scoffed. How could an amazing Christmas morning come from those? <br />
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"Don't you want Christmas to be magical? A Christmas morning that's beautiful and abundant?" The Grinch hissed at me. "Your kids are too little to understand the concept of "Less but Better" or the idea of being intentional, all they will think is you don't care or are stingy." Then the Grinch took an even lower blow. "Other people have gotten your kids all kinds of things, they might like them better than you."<br />
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In case you didn't know, that Grinch was me.<br />
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As I walked out of Toys R' Us I was almost shaking with anxiety and conflict. the heart of which was this:<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I want my kids to understand my values of people over things, quality of quantity, and owning only what we love and can manage.</i></span><br />
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And:<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I want my kids to have a beautiful, and fulfilling Christmas.</i></span> <br />
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I want them to receive gifts they can love and cherish and enjoy, and not more. And that's harder than it seems.<br />
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I don't want to be the counterculture hipster family that doesn't 'do' presents, and like most parents I don't want my children to feel deprived.<br />
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Almost everyone agrees that the meaning of Christmas, even beyond its celebration as a Christian holiday, is not material things. I have yet to meet anyone who proclaims to celebrate Christmas as a time to frantically buy material objects to give to other people who may or may not want or need them. Yet it seems that's how many people experience it. <br />
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Even the quote I shared at the start of the post... Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store, but have you tried participating without visiting a store (Amazon counts!). After <a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2015/12/the-toy-swap.html">my toy exchange</a> I was happy and excited. These are toys my children will enjoy! These are good toys that will get a new life!<br />
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But as I stood in line at Toys R Us, all I could think was 'who gives used toys to their kids for Christmas? You aren't that poor! Are you really that cheap and lame? <br />
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The logical side of my brain reminded myself that the VERY first thing I would do with a package was tear it off and throw it away, but the ingrained consumer in me balks. Not only that, logical engineer brain said, my kids are getting an absurd amount of awesome toys, one of which is huge and big and awesome and will last for years!<br />
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This year, I was able to walk out of Toys R us and eventually recover. I was able to wrap the gifts with love and anticipation and I'm looking forward to celebrating with my family. Still, I know that this is an internal struggle that is far from over.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'd love thoughts and advice from others struggling with these issues.</span>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-13998245622764196172015-12-20T09:49:00.000-08:002015-12-20T09:49:07.008-08:00Pumpkin Dinner Party <div dir="ltr">
When it was safely a month away I dreamed of how fun it would be to host a Halloween dinner party to kick off my favorite holiday! I am so fortunate to be surrounded by an incredible group of women in my community and we regularly get together for wine and snacks and conversation. I've also been to lots of wonderful potlucks and realized there is nothing quite like sharing a meal to bring people together.</div>
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For this meal, I really wanted to prepare the meal and have my guests sit at the table. I think there is value to sitting at the table, but as a mom with little kids, I eat most of my meals sitting on the edge of my chair and dashing back and forth to get things. I wanted it to be a treat for my friends and a way to say thank you. One of the most challenging parts was deciding who to invite. I had so many people who I'd love to share with, but I wanted everyone at the table (so a max of six!). </div>
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I wanted food that was easy to serve and wouldn't require much prep once people had arrived, so the next challenge was developing a tasty but easy menu.</div>
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I ended up serving 4 pumpking themed courses.<br />
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1. Kale and Pumpkin seed Salad<br />
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2. Roasted Squash and pumpkin soup with homemade bread<br />
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3. Baked Pumpking Ziti (with sausge and veggie for each person's tastes)<br />
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4. Pumpkin Whip Pudding<br />
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I also served pumpkin mimosas when everyone arrived and wine with dinner. <br />
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The night before the party I did a trial run with our family The boys LOVED our spooky candlelit dinner. </div>
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I made myself a little schedule for the day to make sure all of the food got done on time and that I had an idea of how I wanted the evening to flow. I deckd ou the room with candles and my Halloween deco and I played the Haunted Mansion Theme track.</div>
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My biggest unknown was the kids. They usually sleep, but there was always the possiblity they would sense my excitement and refuse to settle down, but they were fine! :)<br />
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I'm always so nervous right before hosting an event, so I made a rule for myself that 10 minutes before people are scheduled to arrive, I sit down and have a glass of wine.<br />
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Then my friends came. And they ooohh'ed and awww'ed and made me feel like I'd done a great job before we even sat down to eat! <br />
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It went so wonderfully that I think I'll try to make it an annual tradition! <br />
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I can't believe it took me 2 months to get around to writing about it! Oh well! Happy very late Halloween!Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-6353093281120014262015-12-18T09:29:00.001-08:002015-12-18T09:29:34.948-08:00Books, books, books.I hadn't yet asked Gavin to read my current project book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1607747308/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1607747308&linkCode=as2&tag=theciviengi-20&linkId=7ACJKSPUVYNIQB2A" rel="nofollow">The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=theciviengi-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1607747308" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> when I asked him what he thought abuot the idea that childrens literacy was directly proportional to the number of books in their home. <br />
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His thought process was simliar to mine. "Seems reasonable." <br />
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But we also agreed that it's likely that the actual causation is that people who like to read have a lot of books and are more likely to teach their children to read. Or people who are better educated have more books and are more likely to teach their children to read.<br />
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We concluded that, with the exception of having available age appropriate material, the addition or removal of books with no other changes to a household shoulnd't have an effect on a literacy.<br />
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But Mom Guilt is real so I had to do some pretty dedicated logical thinking to overcome the following thoughts.<br />
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"Oh no! I've ruined my children by reading digital books!"<br />
and more relevant to my current project<br />
"I can't declutter my books! How will my kids ever get into College??"<br />
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After my rallying against ever folding my clothes, getting rid of books was my next biggest complaint. <br />
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But once again Kondo won me over. "Imagine a book shelf with only books you REALLY love." And that made me realize that deep down I don't really LOVE books. I love reading, but I honestly prefer digitial books both for ease of use and not having to touch paper. I know I've offended book lovers everywhere, but it was an entirely new realization I made about myself. I love to visit bookstores. I have very found memories of visiting a used bookstore regularly with my mom, and I can enjoy both of those while still letting go of objects that are cluttering my space.<br />
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Then it was time for the kids books. My primary goal was to get all of the books in one place. On one hand, I love having books all over mt house. I love that the kids can pick up a book in almost any room. On the other hand, they frequently can't find their favorite books. So I decided to combine all of the books.<br />
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Well almost, I decided both boys should be able to keep some books in their room. My goal is 10. I will almost certianly fail as my son is a major book hoarder. I'm fairly certian he will continue to collect books from the cabinet and his brothers room until he once again is drowning in them. Time will tell!<br />
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We have a lot of books. And I'm almost certain we will continue to collect more and we will have to evaluate the space for them and method for them. But for now, at least the books are (mostly) in the same place. (I also forgot about the piles in the car!)<br />
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I've also come to realize that almost everything is better shared. The books we are done with (or more likely were duplicates) I passed on to my friends and neighbors to use and enjoy.</div>
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-89721492476801798272015-12-13T23:47:00.000-08:002015-12-13T23:47:09.126-08:00The Art of Tidying Up, IntroI get most of my books from the library. Consequently, I'm often late to the party when it comes to the book <i>everyone</i> is reading.<br />
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I'd heard people mention this book and how it had affected them. I knew I wanted to read it. I read almost everything, but self help books, specifically self help books abut organizing your life and mind, are my favorites.</div>
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I've had a slightly unique experience reading this book because I read it right on the heels of "Getting Things Done" by David Allen, "Essentialism" by Greg McKeown, and "7 Habits of Highly Successful People" by Stephen Covey. Apparently the last two months have been about simplifying for me!</div>
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I will admit, I almost put the book down when she insisted on folding clothes. I don't fold clothes. As silly as this sounds, I'm adamant on this point. Still, she made a compelling enough point for me to reconsider.</div>
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I'm glad I didn't give up on the little book. I read it quickly as it's not very long. And then I thought about it for a few days. I decided I'd try it, although I wasn't going to dive in, I certainly wasn't going to start talking to my clothes and I wasn't going to undertake a life changing Tidying Event.</div>
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But I might have done all three.</div>
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I have a very large, mostly organized closet. Still, when I actually took everything out I was kind of surprised at how much I had. As instructed, I picked up every single piece of clothing, including socks, stockings, and coats and made a decision. And as promised, it got a little easier as I went along. At the end, I bagged up four bags of clothes and set about to fold my clothes.</div>
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The book is adamant. Discard 1st, organize 2nd. But I couldn't very well live with the remaining contents of my closet on the floor, so I organized them. </div>
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It was true. I looked at my closet and saw only things I loved. And it is also true that despite my fears, I have yet to find myself without something to wear and it's been over a week.</div>
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But it was a lot of work, and did I really need to process EVERYTHING I owned? </div>
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So I googled "People who failed at Konmari" "Konmari Critics," and other random phrases like this. I found almost no one. Those I did find often didn't try the method, but discounted it ahead of time. No easy out, I guess. </div>
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For me, the book has provided a fundamental shift in the way I view my relationship with my things. I don't hope to become a extreme minimalist, but I do want to own only things I love. I want my house and my head to have room to grow and explore and love and live.</div>
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This book is not for everyone. Some people love things and being surrounded by them. But as I just started reading it for the second time, apparently it is for me.</div>
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Wish me luck as I dive in to the next categories!</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-11818320161389098392015-12-08T13:20:00.000-08:002015-12-08T13:20:21.879-08:00The Toy SwapI hosted a Toy Swap.<div>
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Inspired by a man who hosted a community wide clothing swap earlier in the year, I decided I'd do the same for toys. My house is full of toys that are in great condition that are outgrown or just not appreciated at our house anymore. </div>
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I sent out an interest email. I was half expecting to get no responses, but the opposite was true. People were really excited so I decided to go for it.</div>
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The general idea was that I'd invite over a bunch of my mom friends. We'd all bring our excellent conditione (fully functioning, all pieces present) toys. We'd drink wine and trade toys. </div>
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So we did!</div>
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I had about 30 RSVP. My kitchen filled with friends and my entry filled with toys.</div>
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I decided the best way to organize the event was to have everyone write their name on a slip of paper, I put all of the names in a vase and drew the first name. As soon as that person chose her toy, she came back and selected the next name. I continued until everyone had a turn and then I dumped the names back in the vase and started again. It was a great system because it was fair, easy, and allowed people to hang out and enjoy conversations. </div>
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It was amazingly fun. It's hard to capture in words the feeling of a house full of good friends laughing and sharing.</div>
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I wanted to keep things simple, but at the last minute I did decide to add a prize for 'best toy' and for last mom to choose. A giant stuffed giraffee won best toy.</div>
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At the end of the night, there was a small collection of toys remaining that will find a new life at a Children's home nearby.<br />
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The event was incredibly successful. Everyone found a few new to them things, but more importantly we strengthed relationships and had fun. I'm planning to make this a yearly tradition!</div>
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-72714827181317737132015-11-26T14:09:00.000-08:002015-11-26T14:09:34.798-08:00An Incredibly Getaway Part II<a href="http://www.thecivilizedengineer.com/2015/11/an-incredible-getaway-part-1.html">If you missed it, here's the link to our train ride!</a><br />
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No one napped, so we stepped of the train with pretty content but very tired children. I was immediately grateful I'd chosen a hotel walking distance from the station.<br />
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The Harbor View Inn was a short two block walk from the station. The neighborhood was clean and welcoming, although there was lots of construction going on around our hotel. I imagine it will be gorgeous when it's done and in the meantime, I enjoy seeing construction. The hotel staff was welcoming and our room was mercifully ready early. We dropped off our things, freshened everyone up and headed out to dinner. It was already getting a bit dark, so we decided to head across the street to the pier and pick an easy restaurant. Biggest mistake of the trip! The view was gorgeous, but the food was really awful. Apparently that's well known to locals. Lesson learned. <br />
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We headed back to the hotel where we found a bottle of champagne waiting! We played, the grown ups drank champagne, and watched iPad. We were pretty nervous about how we were going to get 2 toddlers and 2 grown ups asleep in our hotel room, but as daddy rocked the baby, I told Colin his story. To discourage him from talking, I counted up and down to 30 a few times and he feel asleep peacefully in my arms. Daddy settled in on the other side of the bed. It was 6:45. <br />
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The baby woke up at 3:30. I looked at the clock and let out a groan before realizing I didn't feel at all like I normally do when I wake up at 3:30 in the morning. And then I realized that was because I'd already been asleep 8 hours. Huh. I rocked him, brought him in bed and we all slept a few more hours until Colin woke up at 6 and started literally pocking the baby. Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1282125804690798815.post-19512307009191011462015-11-25T14:55:00.000-08:002015-11-25T14:55:08.239-08:00Why I became my own gardener.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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"I really need to spend more time outside." I told myself over and over again, every time I listed ways to improve my mood and health. "I really should exercise more." You already read the title of the post, so the answer is obvious to you, but it wasn't too me. Time and time again I'd tell myself these things and I'd even have success, sometimes.<br />
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Eventually the answer donned on me. Well us, actually, as it occurred to my husband as well. When we reconstructed our backyard, we did with the intent of making it as easily as possible for us to maintain ourselves. And then we dove in. We purchased a few basic tools; a push mower, a blower, a rake, trimmers; and we started working.<br />
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I believe and I am healthier and happier when I spend time outside, and if I wasn't convinced before the kids, I certainly am now. The fresh air invigorates and charges them, and a day with time outside is noticeably easier for everyone. If this is true for them, why wouldn't it be for me?<br />
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I never actually intended to have a gardener. I grew up with a father who did all yard work, maintenance and repairs himself. Prior to purchasing my home, I bounced around apartments for a while. I remember a few weeks in to living in our new home, I noticed in passing that the grass was a bit long. It wasn't until our neighbor told us that she'd had her gardener trim the grass that I realized with embarrassment that this was now MY responsibility. So her gardener became my gardener as I struggled with the overwhelming realities of owning our first home. <br />
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But now, I savor the chance to escape outside for a few hours to rake, and plant and trim.<br />
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This decision isn't without it's downsides. I am not in the running for the most immaculately maintained yard on the block. And there are days (or weeks or maybe a month here and there) when the grass goes untrimmed and the leaves unraked. But they serve as a reminder that I need to do get outside and exercise and it causes an immediate and visual consequence of failing to do so.<br />
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This isn't a condemnation of having a gardener or even an encouragement to take on your own yard work. Rather, it's an example of the way that I'm working to make the processes and outcomes I want in life work together with the my daily habits and activities. For me, it's not enough to say "I will go outside each day." Or even "I will exercise twice a week." It's better to plan to make all of the things around me conspire together towards my ultimate purposes. Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09751553889291601815noreply@blogger.com0