Monday, April 13, 2015

Nine Reasons to be glad I'm done breastfeeding.

It is finished.  We are weaned.  So to help me overcome this milestone, I've come up with a list of things I'm super glad about being done breastfeeding.

1.  I can eat and drink whatever I want.

Regarding diet, breastfeeding is kind of like pregnancy lite.  Sure I COULD drink caffeine, and have wine, but that lingering fear is still there.  So now it's time to eat and drink and be merry! There is something to be said about having to consult your boobs before making food and beverage choices.

2. Meds

"Please ask our doctor if you are Nursing, Pregnant or Could become Pregnant."  Let's face it, the world is scared to mess with people when they are busy about the business of creating offspring.  Cold Medicine?  Call your Doctor.  Pain medicine? Ask the Lactation Consultant.  Tic Tacs, well, probably google it at least.  It's kind of nice to not automatically be in the high risk category for every signle medication.  Suddenly if I don't feel well, there's a medicine for that!

3. Decreased Stickiness

I have two boys, so the change in overall stickiness is relative.  Still, slightly less sticky=good.  Not only that, but I'm convinced breast milk stains clothing.  Those stains are in incredibly awkward locations. 

4. Clothing

I no longer have to be a creeper about choosing my clothing.  Maybe it's just be because I'm a shirt down to nurse type of gal (nobody wants to unwittingly see what pregnancy with two big babies did to my midsection), but shopping for and choosing clothes while nursing is kind of creepy.  Frequently, I've found myself in the sale section at Target ruthless tugging at necklines to check their 'accesability'.  Creepy?  Probably.  But necessary.  And now, no more!  Hello high necked sweaters and unstretchy necklines! I missed you!  

5.  My PJ's are back!

Along the same line as the above, no more easy access PJ's required.  I'm back to sleeping in that T-shirt I stole from my husband during our first trip together. (Do the silk PJ's every Christmas mean you don't think it's cute anymore, honey??)  Regardless,  My PJ's are back!!  So long nursing tanks!

6. Killing Your Pump

Perhaps the more sane either save their breast pump for a future baby, or sell it, or even donate it, but for me, it's time to kill my pump.  I'm sick of you whispering your inane phrases to me, time to go full Office Space on you and your impossible to clean little pieces!

7.  Surveying the Damage

I remember my LC telling me that it was pregnancy and birth, not breastfeeding, that created the wasteland out of what was once my safely jog in a snug tank top bosom.  That might be true, but while breastfeeding, I had no way to really ascertain the true extent of the damage.  Exit milk, enter reality.
8.  Return to Regular Programing

I've heard rumos of people for whom breastfeeding serves as both a gate keeper for their cycle and a nifty form of (albeit unreliable) birth control.  Not so much for me, but at least maybe we can get back to some sense of 'normal.'

9.  A tangible sign that my baby is growing up.

It's a step towards my child's eventual full independence from me.  From breathing, to eating, to walking, talking and applying for mortgages, one day he won't need me at all.

Wait!  I'm not glad about that!  Time to revisit number one and console myself with a glass of wine in my not sticky PJs.

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